I read an article on CNN.com this week about people who met while volunteering and fell in love. http://http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/03/24/find.love.while.volunteering/index.htmlI guess volunteering might be better than signing up for match.com :)
It made me think about the difference between what I am advocating with Team Samaritan and the great things that volunteers do. Basically, it's the difference between action and reaction.
I'm urging people to react more positively to situations that which might crop up in their path in the course of theirday. I'm urging people to not walk away when they see someone who needs help. I'm urging people to not assume that someone else will help but to take responsibility for giving that help.
Volunteers, on the other hand, are taking action and not being solely reactive. On their own intiative, they are searching out opportunities to do some good in this world. I greatly admire the work that volunteers do but, typically, I do not volunteer. Why? Probably because I'm a little lazy.
More specifically, I don't like having too many time commitments (sidenote: It is not normal that EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. I type "commitment" I have to doublecheck whether it is one or two t's in the middle.) I'm the kind of person who needs time alone to rest and recharge. I need time to read or watch TV or just be. Before I got laid off, I didn't have a lot of free time between work, family obligations, etc. and so volunteering, while something I would like to do, just wasn't on my radar as something realistic for me. Of course, everyone has a million reasons to excuse their not doing something that they believe has value and that they know they should be doing.
Now, however, I have a great opportunity to do some volunteering. My schedule is wide open. I've been laid off (unofficially) for almost two months and my official last day is Tuesday. These last two months have flown by and, other than some fantastic quality time with my two toddler nephews, I don't have too much to show for it. My life has consisted mainly of sending out resumes (thus far completely unsuccessfully), yoga, running, walking my dog, cleaning my house, and hanging out with my mom and my nephews. It's been relaxing and wonderful but I need something more purposeful, something that will make me feel that I am accomplishing something in my life.
So enters my first volunteering effort since college. Beginning next week, I am going to be volunteering for a legal services agency that I interned with during law school. Ironically, I will be counseling people on obtaining unemployment benefits while on Wednesday I will be applying for them myself.
I am really excited for this opportunity because it was my internship at this agency that first got me interested in employment law. It was the first time that I really paid attention to the relationship that people have with their jobs and how much importance many people place on it above and beyond simply receiving a paycheck. Although when I began to practice law, I mainly represented employers against employees so I'm not sure what that really says about me.
Right now, however, I am definitely trying to be a better person. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Stomach Bug Emergencies
A few Sundays ago I was reading on the couch debating whether I should go to bed or continue reading some steamy scenes in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon (It's the fifth book in the "Outlander" series, you will love it). From my vantage point on the couch, I noticed that our backyard was blinking red and blue. Upon gawking out the window, I saw a police cruiser and a fire engine pulled up in front of my neighbor's house. I saw my female neighbor, I'll call her "Diane," answer the door so I figured it was probably either a problem with her husband ("Tom") or her young son ("Patrick"). These thoughts were confirmed when an ambulance screeched up to the curb a few moments later.
Now we don't know these neighbors well. Actually, we don't really know any of our neighbors well even though we've lived in our house for almost five years. This is based on a number of factors:
Now we don't know these neighbors well. Actually, we don't really know any of our neighbors well even though we've lived in our house for almost five years. This is based on a number of factors:
- We both work long hours. Although now that I'm laid off I have plenty of neighbor-time but, strangely, there are not that many neighbors out and about during normal working hours.
- We never really made the effort to get to know most of our neighbors because we bought our house assuming that we would move to a different community in a few years. We did not assume that the housing market would crash making that move impossible.
- Many of our neighbors are elderly and don't leave their homes much.
- Some of our neighbors are drug addicts.
These particular neighbors we know better than most but our relationship consists mostly of waving hello from our respective yards and sending Christmas cards. Occassionally, Tony and Tom will have a more in depth conversation which is pretty much why I know anything about them at all.
So I stood at the window and thought about what, if anything, I should do in this situation if it turned out to be Tom leaving in the ambulance. I knew that our neighbors would be unlikely to drag their young son to the hospital at such a late hour, however, I also knew that they didn't have many family members in the area who would be able to stay with him. As a wife, I couldn't imagine not being able to go with Tony to the hospital if such an emergency ever popped up.
But since we are not exactly friends with these neighbors, I wondered if it was my place to get involved in this type of situation or if it would be a better idea to just MYOB.
Then I saw Tom walking down the stairs to the ambulance. And I just opened my door and ran across the street without really thinking about it. Diane was still in the doorway as I ran up her front stairs. As she opened the door, I said, "Diane, I know we don't know each other well but if you want to go in the ambulance with Tom, I will stay with Patrick." She gave me a wavering smile and replied, "I'm sorry, who are you?"
Clearly I need to do a little more friendly neighbor outreach.
Once I clarified that I was Erin from across the street, she knew who I was and apologized saying she was just so shaken up she couldn't think straight. I felt a little awkward as this was not something I would normally do - intrude on a family emergency - but immediately began to feel that I had done the right thing.
Diane was very shaken up because her husband, after being sick with a stomach bug, had passed out on the floor and she hadn't been able to wake him up for a few minutes. She was very upset and was trying to hold it together for her young son but seemed grateful to have someone there to offer support.
As it turned out, I stayed at her house for about 20 minutes to wait for Patrick's elderly grandfather to arrive while Diane got a headstart on her way to the hospital. Thankfully, it was only a matter of dehydration and they were home within a few hours.
Diane called me the next day to thank me for coming over and I was really glad that I didn't follow my first instinct to stay out of it.
And two days later guess who got the stomach bug. I'll spare you the details :)
Monday, March 9, 2009
Teamsamaritan@live.com
I am hoping this site can become a place where people can share their "Team Samaritan" stories. The little ones and the big ones. I'd love to hear them and share them.
Email me at teamsamaritan@live.com.
Thanks!
Email me at teamsamaritan@live.com.
Thanks!
Team Samaritan and the Bicycle Messenger
As I said in my first post, "Team Samaritan" has become a catchphrase that my husband Tony and I use when we've done something to help out another person. We generally use it in the following way:
Tony (calling me on the phone): Hey buddha belly, what's up? (I'm staying true to our marriage here, it can be a scary place.)
Me: That's rude. Not much, what are you doing?
Tony: Nothing, just wanted to let you know that I was Team Samaritan today. Blah Blah Blah.
The main thing I want to point out though is that generally we are helping people in pretty small ways. Sometimes "giving up my seat on the train" small. But, you know, sometimes the things that you do that are "small" to you are bigger to other people.
Regardless, the point is that we have made a conscious decision to get involved when we see people who may need some help. We have made the decision in advance that although there may be other people around who could lend assistance, we are taking responsibility for situations that we might otherwise not want to bother getting mixed up in. Caution: I am not advocating putting yourself in the way of any danger. I'm talking about situations that occur everyday where you could do something small, something ordinary, something maybe even good manners might dictate you should do, but that you and I, and many other normal people, might not automatically do.
Case in point: A few months ago I was walking from the subway station (aka the "T" - I worked in Boston) to my office and saw a bicycle messenger on the ground in the middle of the street. He had just been clipped by a car. Whichever car hit him drove off without stopping.
Now I know a lot of snarky comments could be made about bicycle messengers and their generally kamikaze style of riding - I've been nearly taken out by a few - but this guy was clearly in need of help. He was dazed and confused. And a little bloody.
(Sidenote: I hate blood. Looking at blood, hell thinking about blood, makes me feel woozy. When I was a teenager, I drove my mother to the doctor's so she could have stitches removed from her arm. There actually wasn't any blood but just watching the skin drag along the stitch had me literally seeing stars. The doctor made my mother get up from her seat, IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING HER STITCHES TAKEN OUT, so I could sit down and avoid passing out. Not one of my finer moments. But it did make me realize that becoming a doctor was not an option.)
Anyways, a random lady ran out into the street and starting helping the bicyclist to the sidewalk. I wanted to write the guy off as being helped. She looked like a nice lady. Surely she would do what was required. And, come on, he was bleeding.
But once you make the decision to get involved when you can reasonably help someone you have to, you know, actually get involved. So I crossed the street, gave the guy my water bottle and some tissues (yeah, I don't know why I gave him tissues either, he was too disoriented to do anything with them. I guess I just wanted to give him something and he definitely wouldn't have had use for my work shoes or a spare tampon so tissues it was.)
Then I ran back down the street to grab the policeman I had just passed. The policeman assessed the situation which, unfortunately, didn't require a lot of assessing since nobody had gotten the license plate number of the car that hit the bicyclist. Then he called 911 so the bicyclist could get checked out, against his wishes, at the hospital.
The nice lady offered to stay with the bicyclist and the policeman to wait for the ambulance. So my "work" there was done. And I could finally get away from all the blood.
(Okay, he only had a few lightly bleeding scratches but, seriously, I can't deal.)
Tony (calling me on the phone): Hey buddha belly, what's up? (I'm staying true to our marriage here, it can be a scary place.)
Me: That's rude. Not much, what are you doing?
Tony: Nothing, just wanted to let you know that I was Team Samaritan today. Blah Blah Blah.
The main thing I want to point out though is that generally we are helping people in pretty small ways. Sometimes "giving up my seat on the train" small. But, you know, sometimes the things that you do that are "small" to you are bigger to other people.
Regardless, the point is that we have made a conscious decision to get involved when we see people who may need some help. We have made the decision in advance that although there may be other people around who could lend assistance, we are taking responsibility for situations that we might otherwise not want to bother getting mixed up in. Caution: I am not advocating putting yourself in the way of any danger. I'm talking about situations that occur everyday where you could do something small, something ordinary, something maybe even good manners might dictate you should do, but that you and I, and many other normal people, might not automatically do.
Case in point: A few months ago I was walking from the subway station (aka the "T" - I worked in Boston) to my office and saw a bicycle messenger on the ground in the middle of the street. He had just been clipped by a car. Whichever car hit him drove off without stopping.
Now I know a lot of snarky comments could be made about bicycle messengers and their generally kamikaze style of riding - I've been nearly taken out by a few - but this guy was clearly in need of help. He was dazed and confused. And a little bloody.
(Sidenote: I hate blood. Looking at blood, hell thinking about blood, makes me feel woozy. When I was a teenager, I drove my mother to the doctor's so she could have stitches removed from her arm. There actually wasn't any blood but just watching the skin drag along the stitch had me literally seeing stars. The doctor made my mother get up from her seat, IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING HER STITCHES TAKEN OUT, so I could sit down and avoid passing out. Not one of my finer moments. But it did make me realize that becoming a doctor was not an option.)
Anyways, a random lady ran out into the street and starting helping the bicyclist to the sidewalk. I wanted to write the guy off as being helped. She looked like a nice lady. Surely she would do what was required. And, come on, he was bleeding.
But once you make the decision to get involved when you can reasonably help someone you have to, you know, actually get involved. So I crossed the street, gave the guy my water bottle and some tissues (yeah, I don't know why I gave him tissues either, he was too disoriented to do anything with them. I guess I just wanted to give him something and he definitely wouldn't have had use for my work shoes or a spare tampon so tissues it was.)
Then I ran back down the street to grab the policeman I had just passed. The policeman assessed the situation which, unfortunately, didn't require a lot of assessing since nobody had gotten the license plate number of the car that hit the bicyclist. Then he called 911 so the bicyclist could get checked out, against his wishes, at the hospital.
The nice lady offered to stay with the bicyclist and the policeman to wait for the ambulance. So my "work" there was done. And I could finally get away from all the blood.
(Okay, he only had a few lightly bleeding scratches but, seriously, I can't deal.)
The Beginning...
I'm an ordinary person. So is my husband. We aren't heroes and we certainly aren't saints. In fact, we're not even religious. However, a few years ago we created a concept called "Team Samaritan." From that time until now, Team Samaritan has been a private catchphrase between us, sort of like an inside joke, but it holds meaning for us and maybe it will hold meaning for you too.
To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure how it started. I have a vague recollection that it might have begun around the time we first saw the movie "Pay It Forward." For those that haven't seen it, add it to your Netflix queue right now. Basically, the movie is about a young boy who tries to change the world through a class project. The boy's concept for his project is simple but profound - instead of "paying back" good deeds, people should "pay it forward" by doing good deeds for three new people. In turn, a chain-mail type situation begins, the three new people each have to "pay it forward" to three new people and so on. It's a very inspiring movie and I highly recommend it.
In any event, we were moved by the idea of the movie and a few weeks later we stumbled upon a situation that allowed us the opportunity to put our thoughts into action.
On a random weekend afternoon we stopped at Home Depot to pick up a few things for our house. This particular Home Depot is located directly off of a highway and when we pulled back out onto the highway we saw two men on the shoulder about 20 feet ahead. Behind their pickup truck lay a mound of Trex-like decking that had apparently slid right off the bed of their truck when they acclerated out of the parking lot and onto the highway.
It was a total mess. They were on the side of a highway. They had over 30 heavy planks to pick up and put back in the truck. One of the men was significantly older and looked to be having a hard time bending to pick up the planks. Even better, it was a windy and raw spring day.
So we did what most people would do. We drove right by them.
Then we felt guilty. We got off at the next exit, turned around, and went back. It took us about 10 minutes to get back there and yet no one else had stopped.
It was a man and his elderly father who were looking to build a new deck at the son's house. They were so grateful for our help. We heaved half the load into my husband's pickup truck to avoid a similar spill-out and followed the two guys back to the son's house to deliver the planks. They wanted to buy us a pizza for our trouble but we already had our reward - it just felt good to have helped.
When we got back into my husband's truck, we smiled goofily at each other and high-fived (yes, we are dorks). And so "Team Samaritan" began. :)
To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure how it started. I have a vague recollection that it might have begun around the time we first saw the movie "Pay It Forward." For those that haven't seen it, add it to your Netflix queue right now. Basically, the movie is about a young boy who tries to change the world through a class project. The boy's concept for his project is simple but profound - instead of "paying back" good deeds, people should "pay it forward" by doing good deeds for three new people. In turn, a chain-mail type situation begins, the three new people each have to "pay it forward" to three new people and so on. It's a very inspiring movie and I highly recommend it.
In any event, we were moved by the idea of the movie and a few weeks later we stumbled upon a situation that allowed us the opportunity to put our thoughts into action.
On a random weekend afternoon we stopped at Home Depot to pick up a few things for our house. This particular Home Depot is located directly off of a highway and when we pulled back out onto the highway we saw two men on the shoulder about 20 feet ahead. Behind their pickup truck lay a mound of Trex-like decking that had apparently slid right off the bed of their truck when they acclerated out of the parking lot and onto the highway.
It was a total mess. They were on the side of a highway. They had over 30 heavy planks to pick up and put back in the truck. One of the men was significantly older and looked to be having a hard time bending to pick up the planks. Even better, it was a windy and raw spring day.
So we did what most people would do. We drove right by them.
Then we felt guilty. We got off at the next exit, turned around, and went back. It took us about 10 minutes to get back there and yet no one else had stopped.
It was a man and his elderly father who were looking to build a new deck at the son's house. They were so grateful for our help. We heaved half the load into my husband's pickup truck to avoid a similar spill-out and followed the two guys back to the son's house to deliver the planks. They wanted to buy us a pizza for our trouble but we already had our reward - it just felt good to have helped.
When we got back into my husband's truck, we smiled goofily at each other and high-fived (yes, we are dorks). And so "Team Samaritan" began. :)
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